Life, men, women, and the whole damned thing. A.K.A. "So, like, are you like a feminist or something?"

Alice Paul

The above question was posed to me after sharing this one video about women's suffrage ((right to vote)).

 To answer if I'm a feminist or not depends on how one defines feminist. Some say that they're these bitter shrieking harpies while others say that they just want equal rights. I'd like to say right off I do not hate men, am bitter over being single, or anything like that. Women and men are our friends, not the enemy.

So which is it? When the backlash became so effective?

I'm trying to keep this as gender neutral as possible as men can also be feminists.

People of both genders can be nice and kind. At the same time they can both be hateful and mean. It's pretty much unavoidable that you're going to encounter nice people and not nice people.

To me feminism is about multiple things.

First, feminism is about equality. Women should have the same rights, earn equal pay for equal work, and so on as men do.

Second, feminism is about choice. A woman should have the right to choose to be a stay at home mom, a working mom, a single woman, or what have you. Being a parent has got to be one of the hardest jobs there is. If a woman wants or chooses to be a stay at home mom that's great! It's her choice to do so and she should not be condemned for it.  Just as if she decides to work she should not be condemned for doing so.

In a similar vein, why is a "house husband" a bad thing? My Dad got laid off his job once so he watched me and looked for work while Mom worked. He was condemned for this, called less than a man, and Mom was ever so angry. Mom knew how hard Dad was trying to find work and how much work he was putting into taking care of everything.

A person can be a great husband/wife while still being a working husband/wife or a stay at home husband/wife.  Why did the two become so separated?

 Third, it's about loving yourself. As a society both genders are bombarded with images of what's cool and what's uncool. If someone can't accept you for you or wants you to change yourself say "You don't like me the way I am? Your loss! Good-bye!"

You can't make anyone else happy if you can't make yourself happy first. Love yourself.

Fourth, my Dad would always tell me "Beside every strong man is a strong woman." He would also say "women are already strong, but the perception of a woman's strength needs to change."

Fifth, feminism is about discussion. Both men and women need to work together and discuss issues. It can't be an us vs. them struggle. Martyrdom brings no reward. Working together and working hard does.

Why is it if a man agrees with feminism he's been "pussy whipped" or emasculated? Hell, what's wrong with a man being confident, being okay with not having a power struggle over who's in charge, and knows that his wife/girlfriend/S.O. will be there for him just as he will be for them.

Then there's the "joke" of women become feminists because they aren't pretty or because they're lesbians. There's "jokes" that men are bumbling idiots that are lacking two brain cells to rub together. Let's get it straight, women and man hating jokes are not jokes!

The arguments of all sex is rape makes me want to bang my head against the wall. The comments that people can assault you with their eyes makes me face palm. A person can be looked at in a way that makes them feel uneasy but that's not assault. Assault is assault!

Who's Marie Curie?

Who's Alice Paul?

What's a library?

Why should I vote? It won't matter! Women's right to vote was won by one vote....

Next time we have a solar eclipse I'm stepping sideways and hoping to find a portal where people learn and actually get along together. If I find the way I'll come back and take anyone who wishes to join with me.

Back to women's suffrage and the video.

The right to vote is an important right. Alice Paul was force fed raw eggs until she vomited. Many suffragists who were force fed often died because the feeding tube went into the lungs instead of the stomach and they drowned. Force feeding in some situations can be used as a tool to break someone, not save them.

Women were beaten for picketing and trying to vote.

Even Alice Paul's doctor said "Courage in women is often mistaken for insanity."

Until we can all get past this "This gender has to be in charge or it'll all go to ruin" attitude we won't really be going anywhere. The attitude harms both genders.

Both men and women can be strong and capable of many things.

Instead of arguing and bickering we need to come together and work together for the better of humanity.

So yes, in some ways, I am a feminist.

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